Or you shouldn’t – it’s not good for your health. Let me explain: there is something wrong with the key belief of the Western world ‘you can be anything you want’. Instead of helping us fly, it is making us struggle. What’s happening?
When I was 3, I wanted to be a fairy or a princess. When I was 6, I wanted to be 7. When I was 12, I wanted to become a housewife, like my mom. When I was 14, I wanted to be anyone, except myself. When I was 18, I wanted to become an artist.
Now, most days, I want to be a slightly better version of myself (today, being a better writer would be awesome). But on bad days, I want to be someone else altogether: a combination of Einstein smart, Coco Chanel elegant and Martha Beck funny wise. Oh, and with long, thick, shiny, curly hair – of course.
There is nothing wrong with the dreams and longings of a child. But did we ever learn to see the beauty in ourselves? Do we understand that we are all unique? That there is no need to become the best of everything? That we shouldn’t lose our own uniqueness in the process?
Can we see that what we think we want, is often just a cultural ideal? That it has nothing to do with us?
We are all a product of nature, nurture and environment. The focus on nurture is everywhere: from the way the education system is structured, to the pleas in court that a criminal is the victim of his own dramatic youth. And most of us are aware of the impact of our environment – we are being told what to do and who to be all the time.
But it seems that we have a tendency to forget the importance of the first part: nature. The box of genetically defined qualities with which we get delivered into this world. The innate talents, intelligence and attitude that we already have when we come into the world. The one part that is entirely ours, the thing that gives us the basis for our uniqueness. Without this individual setting, we would probably all react exactly the same in the same conditions. But we don’t, that’s what makes us human, that’s what makes us all different.
You’re not a blank page. You never were.
And still we are all trying to become the same version of ‘anything you want’. There is this cultural ideal of what a happy and successful person should be like. Extraverted, eternally young, intelligent, rational, good-looking, ambitious, hard-working, with 2,5 children, 2 cars and a detached house.
The strange thing is that those people who seem to have achieved the above, are not necessarily the happiest. Unless they just happen to have achieved this of their basic setup. But most will have gotten there despite themselves. They will have worked hard, not just at achieving the goal, but at ignoring themselves: the nagging feeling inside, the tiredness, knowing there should be another way.
What if you could become your own tailor made version of happy & successful?
A version that suits only you, that is original, handmade, and brings something to the world that no one else does? One where you can build on all your innate qualities and talents, that gives you energy instead of draining you. One that brings out the best version of you.
Forget about the cultural illusion that you can become anything you want. Get out of your head and into your heart & body. Who are you? What makes you unique? What makes you sing & dance? Find a way to put it to your own music & write your own success story. Become the most true version of who you are, and set yourself free.
I’ve said it in a previous post: ‘Following your own path isn’t always the easiest way – but it is guaranteed to be the most fulfilling’.
Nilah Nilah 